if you think you’ve ever once said anything awkward you should know my health teacher once said “sex isn’t that great” and i blurted out “because you’re not doing it with me” and everyone stared at me

(via p-refix)



I never understood in Harry Potter how Harry was so passive and fell asleep in class I mean sure maybe Ron cause he’s grown up with it but living 11 years of your life in muggle school and then getting to learn about THE HISTORY OF MAGIC AND MAKE POTIONS AND SPELLS AND HOW IS THAT POSSIBLY BORING HARRY YOU FRUSTuRATE ME

This explains Hermione.

(via hotdudesandjunkfoods)


i love people who are really nice and kindhearted bUT ALSO HORNED OUT SEX FREAKS

(Source: gardenslumberparty, via azealiabankz)


Great things to say during intercourse:

  • Yes, this is agreeable
  • Excellent. I’ll note this down in my memoirs
  • What a surprising twist!
  • Aren’t human beings remarkable?
  • Splendid.

(via pizza)